Only A Mom Would Know

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!'

My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :) 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?'

Moms are very smart people.

Cannibal Lunch

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operatedby a fellow cannibal.

Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu....

+Tourist: $5.00

+Broiled Missionary: $10.00

+Fried Explorer: $15.00

+Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked,
"Why such a price difference for the Politicians?"

The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one?
They're so full of crap, it takes all morning."

Frank & The Blonde

Frank, a handsome dude,
walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm.
He sat down next to a blonde at the bar
and stared up at the TV.

The 10 pm news was coming on.
The news crew was covering the story
of a man on the ledge of a large building
preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Frank and said,
"Do you think he'll jump?"

Frank said,
"You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied,
"Well, I bet he won't."

Frank placed a $20 bill on the bar and said,
"You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar,
The guy on the ledge
Did a swan dive off the building,
Falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset,
but willingly handed her $20 to Frank.
"Fair's fair. Here's your money."

Frank replied,
"I can't take your money.
I saw this earlier on the 5 pm news,
And so I knew he would jump."

The blonde replied,
"I did too, But didn't think he'd do it again."

Frank took the money...