Just a place for me to post all the jokes and other weird things that I get off of the internet.
Sorry that I haven't posted in a long time. I kind of lost interest in it for a few years. I'm slowly getting back on track to posting.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Idiot and Computer
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Friendly Advice
Monday, November 25, 2013
Just Married
A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules.
"I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you.
Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want.
Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?"
His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night ... whether you're here or not."
Old Crush
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Me Sick
Friday, November 22, 2013
Her Facelift
"About 32," the clerk replies.
"I turned 47 yesterday," the woman says happily, and then moves to her next stop.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and, upon getting her order, asks the counter girl the same question. She replies, "I'd guess about 29." The woman replies, "Nope, I turned 47 yesterday!" Now she is feeling really good about herself.
While waiting for the bus home, she asks an old man the same question. He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is starting to go. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell exactly how old a woman was, but it requires you to let me put my hands up your shirt and feel your boobs."
They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of the woman and she finally says, "What the hell, go ahead." The old man slips both hands up her shirt, under her bra, and begins to feel around. After a couple of minutes she says, "OK already: how old am I?" He removes his hands and says, "You are 47 years and one day old."
"That is amazing!" the stunned the woman says. "How did you know?"
The old man replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
Thursday, November 21, 2013
The check up
A senior citizen visits his doctor for a routine check-up and everything seems fine. The doctor asks him about his sex life.
"Well ..." the man drawled, "not bad at all to be honest. The wife ain't all that interested anymore, so I just cruise around. In the past week I was able to pick-up and bed at least three girls, none of whom were over thirty years old."
"My goodness Frank, and at your age too." the doctor said. "I hope you took at least some precautions."
"Yep. I may be old, but I ain't senile yet doc. I gave them all a phony name."