German Beer Commercial

Good way to sell beer on a slow day

Kinky Adult Facts

A funeral in Rugby, North Dakota

A Touching Story

Kind of a cool way to take a casket to the cemetery.

 

A funeral procession pulled into Presella Watts Cemetery.

 

Several car loads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it.

 

A passer-by remarked, "That guy must have been a very avid fisherman."

 

"Oh, he still is," remarked one of the mourners. "As a matter of fact, he's headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife."

 

The New Priest

The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this. The old priest suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see, yes, go on', and "I understand.

How did you feel about that?" The new priest says those things.

The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying 'No shit?!? What happened next?"

Priest on Vacation

Vacationing in Hawaii, two priests decide to wear casual clothes so they won't be identified as clergy. They buy Hawaiian shirts and sandals, and soon head for the beach. They notice a gorgeous blond in a tiny bikini. "Good afternoon, Fathers" she says as she strolls by. The men are stunned. How does she know they are clergy? Later that day, they buy even wilder attire consisting of surfer shorts, tie dyed T-shirts, and dark glasses. The next day, they return to the beach. The same fabulous blond, now wearing a string bikini, passes by, nods politely at them and says, "Good morning Fathers." "Just a minute young lady.", says one of the priests. "We are priests and proud of it, but how in the world did you know?" The blonde replies, "Don't you recognize me? I'm sister Katherine from the convent."

Pillsbury Doughboy Passes Away

Burt Reynolds, "Smokey and the Bandit" star, dead at 82

Burt Reynolds, "Smokey and the Bandit" star, dead at 82: Iconic actor Burt Reynolds has died at the age of 82.

He was a great actor and will be missed, R.I.P. Burt

Kim Davis

Kim Davis, the elected clerk in Rowan County, Kentucky has closets full of skeletons.
She should practice what she preaches.
#KimDavis #RowanCounty #Kentucky #BITCH  #HYPOCRITE

Kim Davis

https://youtu.be/EO_5WduGeuc

Kim Davis, the elected clerk in Rowan County, Kentucky has closets full of skeletons.
She should practice what she preaches.
#KimDavis #RowanCounty #Kentucky #BITCH  #HYPOCRITE

If you hate your job

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Three Pastors

Three Pastors were having lunch together at a diner.

The first Pastor said: "Ya know, since summer started I've been having trouble with mice in my church. I've tried everything. Noise, spray, cats. Nothing seems to scare them away." The second Pastor then said: "Yea, me too. I've got hundreds living in the basement of the church. I've set traps and even called an expert to get rid of them, yet they still won't go away." With a grin on his face, the third Pastor said: "I had the same problem so I baptized all mine and made them members of the church ... Haven't seen one back since!"

The New Jersey Hunter

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"

The Test

A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final. Placing his chair on his desk the professor instructs the class, "Using every applicable thing you've learned in this course, prove to me that this chair DOES NOT EXIST."

So, pencils are writing and erasers are erasing, students are preparing to embark on novels proving that this chair doesn't exist, except for one student. He spends thirty seconds writing his answer, then turns his final in to the astonishment of his peers. Time goes by, and the day comes when all the students get their final grades ... and to the amazment of the class, the student who wrote for thirty seconds gets the highest grade in the class. His answer to the question: "What chair?"

The 10 Best Caddy Replies

Golfer: Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake.
Caddy: Think you can keep your head down that long?

Golfer: I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddy: Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth.

Golfer: Do you think my game is improving?
Caddy: Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now.

Golfer: Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?
Caddy: Eventually.

Golfer: You've got to be the worst caddy in the world.
Caddy: I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence.

Golfer: Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of A distraction.
Caddy: It's not a watch : it's a compass.

Golfer: How do you like my game?
Caddy: Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf.

Golfer: Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?
Caddy: The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day.

Golfer: This is the worst course I've ever played on.
Caddy: This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago.

Best Caddy Comment
Golfer: That can't be my ball, it's too old.
Caddy: It's been a long time since we teed off, sir.