Restroom Humor

Three men were standing side-by-side using the urinal.

The first man finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands ... clear up to his elbows ... He used about 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men and commented: "I graduated from Harvard and they taught us to be clean."

The second man finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented: "I graduated from the University of California and they taught us to be environmentally conscious."

The third man zipped up and as he was walking out the door he had a smirk on his face and said: "I don't know about you guys, but where I went to college, they taught us not to piss on our hands."

Horse Riding

An attractive lady from Seattle was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. A local on horseback came along and offered her a ride to the nearest town.

She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was pretty uneventful except that every few minutes the guy would let out a "Whoop" so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final "Yahoo" and rode off.

"Hey, what did you do to get him so fired up?" asked the service station attendant.

"Nothing," shrugged the woman, I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off.

"Lady," the attendant said, "that guy was riding bareback ..."

Marriage in Heaven

On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple has a fatal car accident. The couple is sitting outside heavens gate waiting on St. Peter to do the paperwork so they can enter. While waiting, they wonder if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter finally shows up and they ask him. St. Peter says, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has ever asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves.

The couple sit for a couple of months and begin to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work out?" they wonder, "Are we stuck together forever?" St. Peter returns after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you can get married in Heaven." "Great," says the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" exclaims the frightened couple. "Geez!" St. Peter exclaims, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it's going to take for me to find a lawyer?"

Confused

Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands.

This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.

This confirms too, that women are always confused and don't know what they want.

German Beer Commercial

Good way to sell beer on a slow day

Kinky Adult Facts

A funeral in Rugby, North Dakota

A Touching Story

Kind of a cool way to take a casket to the cemetery.

 

A funeral procession pulled into Presella Watts Cemetery.

 

Several car loads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it.

 

A passer-by remarked, "That guy must have been a very avid fisherman."

 

"Oh, he still is," remarked one of the mourners. "As a matter of fact, he's headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife."

 

The New Priest

The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this. The old priest suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see, yes, go on', and "I understand.

How did you feel about that?" The new priest says those things.

The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying 'No shit?!? What happened next?"

Priest on Vacation

Vacationing in Hawaii, two priests decide to wear casual clothes so they won't be identified as clergy. They buy Hawaiian shirts and sandals, and soon head for the beach. They notice a gorgeous blond in a tiny bikini. "Good afternoon, Fathers" she says as she strolls by. The men are stunned. How does she know they are clergy? Later that day, they buy even wilder attire consisting of surfer shorts, tie dyed T-shirts, and dark glasses. The next day, they return to the beach. The same fabulous blond, now wearing a string bikini, passes by, nods politely at them and says, "Good morning Fathers." "Just a minute young lady.", says one of the priests. "We are priests and proud of it, but how in the world did you know?" The blonde replies, "Don't you recognize me? I'm sister Katherine from the convent."

Pillsbury Doughboy Passes Away

Burt Reynolds, "Smokey and the Bandit" star, dead at 82

Burt Reynolds, "Smokey and the Bandit" star, dead at 82: Iconic actor Burt Reynolds has died at the age of 82.

He was a great actor and will be missed, R.I.P. Burt

Kim Davis

Kim Davis, the elected clerk in Rowan County, Kentucky has closets full of skeletons.
She should practice what she preaches.
#KimDavis #RowanCounty #Kentucky #BITCH  #HYPOCRITE

Kim Davis

https://youtu.be/EO_5WduGeuc

Kim Davis, the elected clerk in Rowan County, Kentucky has closets full of skeletons.
She should practice what she preaches.
#KimDavis #RowanCounty #Kentucky #BITCH  #HYPOCRITE

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